It'll be easy, no one said.
Friday, January 22, 2016
Things I want to do next
Learn how to DJ
Upload some YouTube videos
Learn more about what kind of job I should have after grad school
Reconnect with close friends
Regain control of my worries
Get more muscular??? (like lean)
I think there's more. I'll update this later.
Upload some YouTube videos
Learn more about what kind of job I should have after grad school
Reconnect with close friends
Regain control of my worries
Get more muscular??? (like lean)
I think there's more. I'll update this later.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Thank you girls.
I was talking to my friend Olivia and I started reflecting upon my closest girl friends since she asked me who they were. I realized that these girls are so wonderfully strong. From talking to people the past few years I've noticed that my guy friends are very good at compartmentalizing their thoughts when they feel down, while the girls often think about "a million things" at once. As a general statement, if a million things are bothering my girl friends, it's hard for them to simply shut things off or focus on something else. Knowing this shows me that these girls are so strong. They can keep smiling and keep loving others despite all the things trying to bring them down. I'm glad they are in my life.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
night thoughts
hi hums :0
Unfortunately I don't happen to know if you are, but I'm really into getting (and I guess writing) emails and letters haha. So here's one. You don't have to reply of course. :0
I'm listening to a song about being with someone in the moonlight and it eases into a line about falling through the sky to find it. I don't know what "it" is exactly. But tonight I was walking home with two sisters (our new accountability group!) and one of them (Jessica) pointed upwards to Orion's Belt. Stars have always seemed so arbitrary to me, but isn't it amazing that they're in fact so orderly from our perspective? As children when we learned about planetary motion and the contributions of the great astronomers, they showed us all these constellations and I thought these were so forced or labeled for convenience' sake. What's so special about three stars that look like they stay near each other over time?
I still don't fully understand. But there's something beautiful about that constancy. Suddenly a dark blue sky scattered with stars includes pattern and reliability. Maybe God splattered them around like a bunch of confetti (in which case He is the greatest of trolls) but there's so much to it. How far away they are, how warm they are (but not as large and warm as you), and how tiny we are (but not you).
Back to "falling through." Have you ever looked into the flicker of a candle flame or a bonfire? Falling can be a calm experience, definitely on the peaceful side of the dichotomy between falling through the gaze up towards a night sky and the violent falling of a roller coaster cart. I think the former is my favorite way of enjoying things. Really focusing on it and letting all else fade away, knowing there's no immediate reason to leave or redirect my attention. It's a timelessness that transcends worry or fear or misunderstanding. It brings courage, steadfastness, and contentment.
I want to tell you that in this place of focus and peace, when God tells us that we're coheirs with Christ, children of the King of kings, there's a strong feeling and knowing of our royalty, neither prideful nor unwanted. We are free in life and conquerers of anything that tries to defeat us because we are on His side and He is at our side.
I hope you are sleeping well.
Love always,
Kejing
Unfortunately I don't happen to know if you are, but I'm really into getting (and I guess writing) emails and letters haha. So here's one. You don't have to reply of course. :0
I'm listening to a song about being with someone in the moonlight and it eases into a line about falling through the sky to find it. I don't know what "it" is exactly. But tonight I was walking home with two sisters (our new accountability group!) and one of them (Jessica) pointed upwards to Orion's Belt. Stars have always seemed so arbitrary to me, but isn't it amazing that they're in fact so orderly from our perspective? As children when we learned about planetary motion and the contributions of the great astronomers, they showed us all these constellations and I thought these were so forced or labeled for convenience' sake. What's so special about three stars that look like they stay near each other over time?
I still don't fully understand. But there's something beautiful about that constancy. Suddenly a dark blue sky scattered with stars includes pattern and reliability. Maybe God splattered them around like a bunch of confetti (in which case He is the greatest of trolls) but there's so much to it. How far away they are, how warm they are (but not as large and warm as you), and how tiny we are (but not you).
Back to "falling through." Have you ever looked into the flicker of a candle flame or a bonfire? Falling can be a calm experience, definitely on the peaceful side of the dichotomy between falling through the gaze up towards a night sky and the violent falling of a roller coaster cart. I think the former is my favorite way of enjoying things. Really focusing on it and letting all else fade away, knowing there's no immediate reason to leave or redirect my attention. It's a timelessness that transcends worry or fear or misunderstanding. It brings courage, steadfastness, and contentment.
I want to tell you that in this place of focus and peace, when God tells us that we're coheirs with Christ, children of the King of kings, there's a strong feeling and knowing of our royalty, neither prideful nor unwanted. We are free in life and conquerers of anything that tries to defeat us because we are on His side and He is at our side.
I hope you are sleeping well.
Love always,
Kejing
Sunday, June 02, 2013
Between Places
The moment between moving is often one of a special type of clarity. During each of these transitions, whether with family moving to new continents or alone across states, the feelings are similar. It's when my mind lives in both places. I can look back and think about its lessons and experiences, and look forward to the awaiting stories. It's not ennui. But it's rather a more positive feeling, pausing between rushes of time. It hints at hope and some quiet excitement. It's wakes me up a bit.
And then I pack my bags and leave for the new place, settling into the new and leaving much of the old. (Of course this implies some psychological confusion while moving in and out of Ithaca amongst different places.)
This makes me wonder how fantastic it will be to finally go home, though hopefully not for many decades.
Listening: Like Incense/Sometimes by Step - Hillsong Live
And then I pack my bags and leave for the new place, settling into the new and leaving much of the old. (Of course this implies some psychological confusion while moving in and out of Ithaca amongst different places.)
This makes me wonder how fantastic it will be to finally go home, though hopefully not for many decades.
Listening: Like Incense/Sometimes by Step - Hillsong Live
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
What have I lost?
I'm saying this now because I feel like I've lost a lot recently.
... a friend.
... the mind battle against a particularly difficult test.
... the luxury of thinking fewer and simpler thoughts
... and turn off recurring ones.
... the freedom of reading for hours each summer day.
... time.
... a memento of my grandmother.
... interest in watching the telly.
... quite a few opportunities to create art.
... memories.
... files that I downloaded from Blackboard which have somehow disappeared from the folders in which I saved them.
... the sort of need to get married. (Haha. I don't think my spiritual mother approves of my jokes about celibacy... But really, it wouldn't be so bad!)
... joy in things of this world that surpass the joy experienced with Jesus
... the ability to stop eating all this White Rabbit creamy candy.
... trust.
... respect.
... security.
... homes. So many homes.
... the pride and privilege of having a Chinese citizenship.
... the fear of losing things.
Two points.
1. By losing these things, beautiful things have happened. With some bittersweet, some madly difficult, but a lot of beautiful.
2. I'm learning that things were never mine to own in the first place. Truly, I have the same before and now, in Him.
This is freeing.
Listening now: Lead Me To The Cross - Hillsong Live, Samson - Regina Spektor, Beginners Theme Suite - Beginners Soundtrack
... a friend.
... the mind battle against a particularly difficult test.
... the luxury of thinking fewer and simpler thoughts
... and turn off recurring ones.
... the freedom of reading for hours each summer day.
... time.
... a memento of my grandmother.
... interest in watching the telly.
... quite a few opportunities to create art.
... memories.
... files that I downloaded from Blackboard which have somehow disappeared from the folders in which I saved them.
... the sort of need to get married. (Haha. I don't think my spiritual mother approves of my jokes about celibacy... But really, it wouldn't be so bad!)
... joy in things of this world that surpass the joy experienced with Jesus
... the ability to stop eating all this White Rabbit creamy candy.
... trust.
... respect.
... security.
... homes. So many homes.
... the pride and privilege of having a Chinese citizenship.
... the fear of losing things.
Two points.
1. By losing these things, beautiful things have happened. With some bittersweet, some madly difficult, but a lot of beautiful.
2. I'm learning that things were never mine to own in the first place. Truly, I have the same before and now, in Him.
This is freeing.
Listening now: Lead Me To The Cross - Hillsong Live, Samson - Regina Spektor, Beginners Theme Suite - Beginners Soundtrack
Monday, May 14, 2012
Bertrand Russell
Shoot! Bertrand Russell died in 1970.
I wanted to debate him. He wrote “Why I Am Not a Christian,” which is sometimes available as a pdf on DC++.
It’s very unconvincing.
---
Russell delivered this lecture on March 6, 1927 to the National Secular Society, South London Branch, at Battersea Town Hall. Published in pamphlet form in that same year, the essay subsequently achieved new fame with Paul Edwards’ edition of Russell’s book, Why I Am Not a Christian and Other Essays … (1957).
Monday, May 07, 2012
Tejal and Kejing's to-do list
2. go down to the gorges, wherever that is (1/2)
3. tunnel between Olin and Uris
5. go sailing if possible. Find out if possible.
7. BoatYard Grill (1/2)
9. see Denice Cassaro (1/2)
12. Fuertes Observatory (1/2)
15. attend an opening at the Johnson Museum of Art
16. see something at the Schwartz Center (1/2)
18. eat at Banfi's
19. trivia night
21. Cornell Cinema (1/2)
Sunday, March 25, 2012
A Goal in Life
Conventionally, the media portrays the path to happiness as the American Dream, an ideal that touts wealth and material as the means to satisfaction. But since research has proven that happiness has no correlation with wealth in the absence of serious financial burden, this Dream is not the answer to finding happiness.
Similarly, our environment insists that love is a product of romance. These experiences are often most possible among people who are not too wrinkly, and people who are not "stuck" with just one other person. But for example, we often hear that a stable marriage is the way to go. (I agree.) For the many years when two people are married, proportionately little of their time together would be "passionate," but an enormous amount of time would be "friendly." They are best friends. So maybe conventional wisdom and hopes are not accurate for our lives. They most certainly are not accurate for mine.
Revert to the year 2000, when the world was ostensibly simple. Ask me what I want to be when I grow up. I'd say, just to be happy.
I let this change. It was not a matter of questioning the semantics of happiness, or a sign that I'd settle with depression. Happiness was not my ultimate goal.
But love - for God, my family, friends, everyone - is unquestionably most important to me. Like happiness, it can grow in response to hardship, and can exist in countless forms. And with age, we get to explore their depth. Their similarities are numerous, and their differences reveal the importance of love. I will describe some of their most obvious similarities in order to introduce the reason for my ultimate goal.
More on love...
Despite the notions that true happiness and love cannot be found the mainstream way, many of us are always looking for better possessions and more passion.
But this is not enough. Our worldly ventures are not fulfilling, lasting, or permanent.
Love exists on any level of happiness. Love can be both joyful and painful, one-sided or mutual.
Jesus said that the most important of the commandments is to love God, and the next important was to love your neighbors (Matthew 23:37-40). He is the most fulfilling, lasting and permanent love, and one-sided because He always loves us more.
Similarly, our environment insists that love is a product of romance. These experiences are often most possible among people who are not too wrinkly, and people who are not "stuck" with just one other person. But for example, we often hear that a stable marriage is the way to go. (I agree.) For the many years when two people are married, proportionately little of their time together would be "passionate," but an enormous amount of time would be "friendly." They are best friends. So maybe conventional wisdom and hopes are not accurate for our lives. They most certainly are not accurate for mine.
Revert to the year 2000, when the world was ostensibly simple. Ask me what I want to be when I grow up. I'd say, just to be happy.
I let this change. It was not a matter of questioning the semantics of happiness, or a sign that I'd settle with depression. Happiness was not my ultimate goal.
But love - for God, my family, friends, everyone - is unquestionably most important to me. Like happiness, it can grow in response to hardship, and can exist in countless forms. And with age, we get to explore their depth. Their similarities are numerous, and their differences reveal the importance of love. I will describe some of their most obvious similarities in order to introduce the reason for my ultimate goal.
More on love...
Despite the notions that true happiness and love cannot be found the mainstream way, many of us are always looking for better possessions and more passion.
But this is not enough. Our worldly ventures are not fulfilling, lasting, or permanent.
Love exists on any level of happiness. Love can be both joyful and painful, one-sided or mutual.
Jesus said that the most important of the commandments is to love God, and the next important was to love your neighbors (Matthew 23:37-40). He is the most fulfilling, lasting and permanent love, and one-sided because He always loves us more.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Another fun story from the Internet.
Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad ... ... ... ...
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH GOD
God: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed) God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed):Okay
God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad. Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today. God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad ... ... ... ...
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH GOD
God: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed) God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed):Okay
God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad. Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today. God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
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