The Past Five Years

I don’t know how to summarize the past five years, but I should say something about it to you because otherwise you might wonder what happened. I guess I lost my love of public blogging for a while. I had so many sad and dark thoughts. I put them on paper in my journals. Life got really bad sometimes. 

After a while it got better and I couldn’t be more grateful. 

Those old posts here about wanting to make more YouTube videos… I treated them like when you see a wizard perform magic but you’re a muggle who goes back to exactly what you were doing before as if you hadn’t seen any magic.

The past year I actually did make YouTube videos. I got really good at doing what I say I want to do. I think that’s what saved me in those hard times. 

The big changes from the outside include the fact that I moved back to New York. I feel like a real New Yorker now but I wonder when I’ll get priced out. 

I married a great man named Matt. He is the best husband I could have ever dreamed of. I mean, he’s really good at being a husband, specifically. We were friends for a long time before we started dating. It really got started when we became best friends.

I had a bit of a career. I did everything I wanted to do in the corporate world, which wasn’t a whole lot but it was more than I thought I’d get to do. But eventually I was asked to be okay with and do things I personally found unethical. And I was in a position where I could quit my job. February 28, 2025 was my last day. 

I couldn’t be more grateful because life is so much better now. I can do exactly what I want to do every day. And I’ve really done a lot in the past two months. 

I worked on YouTube, but I also built an online store selling retro accessories. The store was never my primary objective but I thought it would be better to make a real, serious, beautiful store instead of just setting up a merch store. It’s funny that our friends and family never see our corporate work because it’s confidential but now everything I do, they can see. 

My YouTube is small but I’ve been getting comments from wonderful, encouraging people around the world who tell me to keep going. And some of them even binge watch the videos! It’s the sweetest thing. 

The guess the last thing that is big news is, I worked very very hard on my anxiety and depression issues. I was fighting for my life. I found a really great therapist who helped me get my life back. I’ll never forget how much he taught me. 

I’m curious what will happen next. I guess a few things. 

1. Here, I’ll post personal and general things. 

2. I’m supposed to send out style tips to my store newsletter but I don’t know how often I’ll end up doing that. It might not be my passion. I guess I’ll just wait until I have an idea or two. The tips don’t need to be long, anyway. 

3. I’m going to keep making YouTube videos. There’s always a balance between being commercial and being artsy. I’m still finding that balance. At the same time, I’m becoming a better video editor, which is something I really love to do. 

4. Twitch and Instagram I tried a bit this year but they’re not my favorite way of interacting with the internet. This year is all about establishing what I want to do and experimenting a bit, and my prediction is this blog will be more of a focus by the end of the year than those platforms. I just really prefer long form content. TikTok I use sparingly but don’t really use. 

I think that’s everything that I’m working on that you can interact with if you like. Of course there is no pressure at all to do so, but if you do, I’ll be happy to hear your feedback.