Um, wow, what a difference. I spent more time this week editing a YouTube video and only part of Friday on my store and eBay, and I felt so much better about everything. I just really love video editing.
I'm excited about editing this week and creating the next video. I really want to do the best I can possibly do. I want be there for the people who want to watch something there.
For the last video I worked on creating more of a cohesive look throughout the video and matching it up to the sounds and music. I still have a lot to improve, but I feel more and more proud of what I'm creating.
I am also getting nicest, sweetest comments. I am very lucky the internet has delivered my videos to them. (That's how YouTube claims the algorithm works. They deliver videos to audience members they believe will enjoy the video at specific times when they believe the audience member will enjoy them.)
It's easy for me to get into negative thought patterns, anxious and scared thoughts, thinking I'm awful, there's no point, etc. but I need to just keep working on what I love because my work is already a source of comfort for people (according to the feedback they've sent) and will only become more true as I improve.
I've been typing this in the corner of my bedroom where I set up a small IKEA Kallax desk. The window is open. I can hear the wind. If you look out, you can see thousands of windows and lights from the city. I want to remember the calm moments like this. I hope I get more of them because anxiety is loud and I like living without it.
I don't have a lot more to say about that because I got very sleepy this evening, but good sleepy.
Listening: Billie Eilish - BIRDS OF A FEATHER
Watching: This Super Mario 64 video.
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