The first 10 weeks of self-employment

It’s been two and a half months since I left my corporate career, and somehow it feels like much longer.

My problems didn’t magically disappear, but removing myself from environments where people were toxic or unethical has made a huge difference. It’s helped me draw stronger boundaries in every part of my life. I’ve kept standing up for myself, and I no longer feel the need to make everyone overly comfortable the way I often did in my twenties—which, ironically, doesn’t help anyone in the long run. Making decisions that benefit everyone in the long run usually means disappointing, angering, or confusing people in the short term. I’ve been learning to sit with that discomfort and trust my instincts.

I haven’t been editing videos as quickly as I’d like, but I’ve managed to keep up a steady rhythm of uploads and stay connected to my passion for storytelling. More and more people have commented on my editing, which feels like real progress. Editing takes hundreds—sometimes thousands—of decisions, plus some studying, some experimenting, and working within whatever constraints the software and format give me. But it continues to fascinate me. I love finding ways to reflect ideas both visually and audibly.

Pacing has been a huge part of that. Just like an orchestra speeds up or slows down, a video needs the right timing, too. But that only makes sense to me once I know what kind of “music” or emotional tone each part of the video should carry, and how those parts fit into the whole. I actually can’t begin editing without choosing the music first. Once I hear how each part feels, my brain tells me exactly how it’ll look. That’s when I’m ready to edit.

I've also been spending some time on eBay and my online store, but instead of letting it take over, I’ve kept it to a slower, as-needed rhythm. Putting some boundaries around that time has done a lot for my overall happiness. Those projects bring in some income, but they’re just a few of the income streams I want to establish for the long term.

A new idea I’ve been thinking about: livestreaming. I saw someone do that on a Chinese TV show a while back—just chatting on their phone, live—and for some reason, I liked the idea of it. It feels more natural to me than streaming video games, and maybe a little easier because we're not forced to talk about a certain game. I’d like to try broadcasting to Twitch and YouTube at the same time. If we try that, I’d love to see you there.